Letters to Japan
by FreezingLightLullaby
Summary: I know it seems to be an annoying trend, but I haven't seen any 'Letters to Japan', so fire away! xD I don't own Hetalia.
1. Chapter 1

**_Send in letters please. :) And enjoy._**

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Konnichwa, Reader-sama.

I am Japan. Since Italy-kun has been trying to make me stop being so mysterious, and he himself using this site to send and receive letters to and from, what he says are very nice people, I have decided to do so as well. I have made an account and I am asking you to sending letters- if you'd like. I don't wish to waste your time. I am deeply sorry if I am, though.

From, Japan.

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_**Please send letters~**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**He's back. C:**_

Konnichiwa,

Thank you for sending these letters. The first one though, seems a bit…..odd.

_Japan did u hav any sex with them following:_

_America_

_Greece_

_Canada_

_England_

_Romano?_

_Did u ever look up to China as a big bro and do u like south Korea as bro?_

Dear Yaoiqueen-San,

1.) No.

2.) I have admired China-San before, but more of a more formal figure. And as for South Korea-San... I don't think of him as such, but he does act quite, um, wild. I mean no offense, but I think he may need some help.

Dear Japan,

Konnichiwa Japan, I really wanted to ask you this. C:

Japan, who would be your closest friend and who do you trust the most? And why?

Dear VYHeta614-san,

I think Greece-San would be my closest friend, but I am not sure if he feels the same. I do trust him as well. He is a very interesting man, and has very nice things, though he does seem to be a cat Otaku. But Western Cultures are always odd, aren't they? Still, I admire him very much, and take some advice from him, even though it always involves cats.

Thank you both for sending letters. Italy-kun says there are a lot of people who like us being on this Site, and I am grateful for it.

From, Japan

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**So sorry for any errors! Xc I have to use an old phone since my computer hates me right now! I will edit after I make up with my computer.**


	3. Chapter 3

**So sorry for any errors!**

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_Dear Japan,_

_Yay, letters! Anyway, I have some questions. :3_

_Question one: What do you think of America- whether the actual place, since I'm sure you've been there plenty of times, or the guy himself?_

_Question two: Why do you not like touching people/like people touching you?_

_Question three: How do you not get angry so easily? D:_

_Also, I think you look extremely adorable, but I won't hug you._

Dear ,

1. America-san is very loud, and though he does seem to have deep psychological problems which he uses as an excuse to destroy his bodily health with horrible food, he is actually pleasant to be around when he calms down. The place too is quite nice. It has some good anime.

2. I do not like people touching me because I have my personal space that I need. And I don't have boobs, there is nothing to grope. NOTHING.

3. It is something actually every Japanese person should know how to do. Just think positively, think of manga and anime and hentai. (The last word is scratched out.)

Arigataou.

From, Japan

_Dear Japan,_

_Do you like yaoi?  
Do you have any friends besides the Axis Powers, Allied Powers, Greece,and Turkey?  
Have you ever considered Romano as a friend?  
Why do you take advice from Greece?  
Do you know about your 2!players?  
Do you know about your nyotalia self?  
Sorry if I asked a lot of questions but I sorta wanted to ask...GOOD BYE!*glomps Japan and then leaves with Japan's katana*_

Dear yaoiqueenrulzu,

1. If it is has good characterization and art, I do like to read it. (There is some blood smeared on the page.)

2. Hai. Hungary-san, Seychelles-san, and I make manga together sometimes.

3. I would, but he calls me a Tuna Bastard when I get around Italy.

4. He is a very close friend, and his advice is very calm, except when it's about Turkey. I don't it though when it includes too many cats though.

5. Hai. They are very interesting.

6. Hai. Sakura-san is very good with cosplay.

Arigat-, wait, no, personal space! Give me back my katana!

From, Japan

P.S Please, I need my katana.

_...Will you ever forgive me for what I've done to your cities? I admit that it was fun, but after 60 years, I've gotten tired of being shot at. Maybe I'll go terrorize New York City again..._

Dear Gojira,

GODZIRRA! I still need my katana.

From, Japan

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**I'm sorry, I couldn't resist it.**

**REVIEW PLEASE! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's an early update! ^u~**

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_Hey Jappy!_

Listen, I asked Hawaii to write you a letter, so she could fear you a lot less! She's only 5 & probably not the best at grammar, 'kay?

Later!  
America

Dear America-san,

Hai. I will do my best to answer reasonably!

From, Japan

_Dear Japan,_

My father is making me write this letter, I really don't want to. No offense sir, I'm still scared of you though.  
So I have a question though, why did you side with Germany in WWII? didn't you know that what he was doing was wrong?

-With as much care as I can muster,  
Lola Jones a.k.a Hawaii

Dear Hawaii-san,

Well, Germany-san was going up against some of my enemies, and he persuaded me to become a part of it, so I could possibly get something out of it too. But to be honest, I have heard other countries say he was going to get rid of Italy-kun and I after the war. I try not to believe them. Also, America-san has done some bad things too, but they're too vulgar to tell you about.

Try to keep your innocence.

From, Japan

Dear Japan,

_Yes, I will give you your katana back if only you call Greece and tell him your his favorite out of him and Turkey, then do the same for Turkey until they fight with each other on who's your favorite! _  
_Mwahahahahaha!_  
_Does your 2!Player have personal space to but more severe or does he like to be touched or grope/molested? _  
_I ask this because France is planning something...that involves the raping of England Canada and Prussia and Spain..._  
_Fine I got to go bye! * glomps Japan and steals Japancat/touma*_  
_Bye! Thanks for your donation! I'll take good care of him!_

Dear yaoiqueenrulzu,

1. Well, hai.

_-Cutscene-_

A relaxed looking country with half-closed green eyes looks out his window, watching the Sun creep across the sky. He is accompanied with a flood of many different cats, all of which are resting quietly on the ground next to him. The nation smiles softly, and closes his eyes, resting his head on his crossed arms. Everythings is beautifully pea-

RING!

The country (the cats as well) bolt up, letting out a low yelp. "Ahh." The male state groans. The source of the ringing was an old style phone, which still shook with furious rings. He gives the phone an irritating look, but goes over and picks it up nonetheless.

"Hello?" He breathes slowly into the phone.

"Konnichwa, Greece-san." A familiar, polite voice says on the other end of the phone.

"Oh...hey, Japan." Greece sluggishly replies. "Why...are you..calling?"

"Etto..I just just wanted to say that out of you and Turkey, you're a closer friend." Japan nervously says.

Greece's eyes widen. "..Really?"

"Hai." Greece's lips form a gentle smirk, and hangs up the phone.

"Stupid Turkey." He chuckles to himself.

_-A little after-_

RING!

A masked nation's lively story telling is interrupted by a nearby phone. He gives a crooked smile to the listeners of his tall tales, and says, "Hold on a sec." He walks over and picks up the phone exactly as it rings.

"Hey, who is this?" He speaks with a gruff voice.

"Konnichawa, Turkey-san. This is Japan." At the name, Turkey grins.

"Hey, Japan! What're you calling for?"

Shifting followed by a nervous sigh is heard on the other side of the phone. "I'm just calling to say you're my closer friend."

Turkey laughs loudly. "I knew you'd pick the right one! Greece is sort of a boring loser."

"...Hai."

"Sorry to cut this conversation short, but I got some kids to tell some awesome stories to! Bye!"

_-The Next Day-_

"Hey, cat-hugger!"

The addressed tired-eyed nation turns around to the source of the call. "..Huh?"

"Did you hear? I'm Japan's closest friend!" Turkey yells at him.

"...No...he said..I am." The calm response is surprisingly angry.

"No, he said it himself! I am his closest friend!"

"...Nu-uh."

"Yu-huh!"

"...Nu-uh."

"YU-HUH!"

"...Nu-uh."

Like two furious cats, the two launched into battle, uncaring of the public eye. To this day, the battle is only interrupted by the beating of drums.

-_Back to Letter-_

2. I am unsure if he likes being...groped. But he does seem to have a stronger liking for hentai.

Wait, France-san is planning what? Wait, Touma! *curls into a tiny ball* TOUMA!

From, Japan

_Konichiwa 1p counterpart,_

How are you? I see you're finally writing letters to people. That's good. Now I can annoy you even more! By the way... I seem to have broken one of your artifacts you know... The one on the wall behind you. * grins mischievously* you might want to replace that.

From,

2p Japan

Dear 2P!Self,

Please leave me alone. I can't have ancient artifacts replaced. They have sentimental value. I'm sure 2P Greece would enjoy your company. Or 2P America. Just leave my manga and I alone.

From, Japan

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**_Review please! :)_**


	5. Chapter 5

**I might update a lot earlier now. :) Enjoy~**

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_Konichiwa 1p counterpart,_

But I enjoy annoying you! * breaks more stuff on purposely* I already finished annoying the two of them some time ago. Now it's your turn! * hugs Japan* Guess what counterpart, I'm invading your "personal space".

From,

2p Japan

Dear 2P!Self,

Please do not break that! It is very expensive! What about 2P!China? Or even 2P!South Korea? *pushes you off* AND DON'T TOUCH ME!

From, REAVE ME ARONE a.k.a Japan

_Dear Japan,  
I shall keep my word and i shall give you your katana back so here!  
*Throws katana to japan*  
So ya if you want Touma back then i dare you to flirt with Romano, America, and Canada.  
When i say flirt i mean actually seduce! To the best of your abilities and then some!  
France is like trying to rape a ton of the nations because like he is a h**** a** pervert!  
If you want to know how touma is doing well, he is currently eating tuna that he is just putting away and for some reason my cat is trying to have the babies with him...we're gonna be cat in-laws!  
So bye! * glomps Japan and steals Pochi*  
My pet dog is gonna have a new friend to play with!_

Dear yaoiqueenrulzu,

Arigatou, I need my katana now. For protection from myself. *shifty eye look*

Ehhh, Touma will find his way back, surely. His nose only follows the scent of delicious tuna. But I guess I will give it a try.

_-CUTSCENE-_

The dark-haired nation slowly approaches America chomping down on something that is possibly food, unsure of what he is actually going to do.

"America-san, I hope I'm not interrupting anything, but I would like to speak to you for a moment." Japan says quietly. The eating country turns around, with food(?) still on his face.

"What?" He asks through a mouthful of food (?). Japan makes his best attempt at eye-contact and takes a deep breath, briefly stopping to wipe off blood dripping from his nose.

"I have nothing."

_-Back to Letter-_

It doesn't work. Please refrain from making Touma mate with other cats. Greece will want to breed the kittens even more. *gets knocked over back glomp* POCHI-SAN!

From, Japan

_Dear Japan,  
In your character song, why do you say you're going to dye your hair blonde? I technically think you'd look better with blonde bangs and black hair. I've heard that you and China are better at holding your liquor than most countries even though you're morally against it. Is this true? And I bought pocky today in honor of you! *hands you pocky* and hentai. But don't tell anyone! ;) * hands you hentai* Give my love to everyone!_

Love, Melody

Dear Melody,

In Modern Japanese culture, to dye our hair blonde is a sign of being a rebel, but I have revoked my decision of such. China and I do seem to bare a stronger resistance, but I do sometimes drink sake for special occasions. It is somewhat true that we are morally against it. Arigatou for the Pocky, and the hentai seems well-drawn. I will do my best to send your regards.

From, Japan

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**New rule: Japan speaks Engrish whenever he's in RAGE MODE. xD And to Melody-san: Either you are a delinquent or a pop culture figure if you dye your blonde in Japan. I'm being serious, bro. c: And they do drink alcohol, but in these REALLY tiny cups. I mean, seriously, I've seen them, and it takes almost 15 cups to get drunk. **


	6. Chapter 6

**:O This chapter might be short, but enjoy~! :)**

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_Konichiwa 1p counterpart,_

_Nope I will continue to annoy you! * breaks a couple more items while smirking at his 1p evilly* Aw! You're mad now! That's what I wanted to see! Annoying 2p China and 2p Korea will be later once the restraining order they gave me expires. Anyways I'm starting to get hungry * rummages through fridge* Do you have any food in here without salt? I don't care for salt._

_From,_  
_2p Japan_

Dear annoying 2P!Self,

Stop breaking things! I have enough cleaning and shopping to do! How about any other 2P!nation? AND NO SALT? ARE YOU INSANE? YOU NEED SALT TO RIVE.

From, I give up a.k.a Japan

_Dear Japan,  
Since it seems someone is trying to breed kitten with your cat, can I have one? And what do you think of all the nations? I want a list with your opinion off to the side. Don't you lie! And that Hentai was drawn by my bff so I give her your thanks. Btw, are you still mad at America for WW2?  
Love Melody_

Dear Melody,

If Greece-san allows it, and the breeding is successful, you may have one. My opinion on all of the nations? Ano...that's over 190 people, but I will try my best.

America-san: Loud, and reckless but with good intentions.

England-san: Very tsundere. It's very interesting how far his tsundere personality goes.

France-san: He is very interesting as well, and his anime is well-drawn.

Russia-san:...No comment, please...

China-san: He can cook very good pot-stickers.

Germany-san: He seems very well-disciplined.

Italy-kun: He is very whimsical, and seems very nice.

Greece-san: He and I share a good love of cats, but his seems stronger.

Turkey-san: He is lively and very loud.

Korea-san: He needs discipline.

Taiwan-san: She is very sweet.

Hong-Kong-san: His eyebrows are interesting.

Your BFF is very good at drawing. It was a good hentai. Do give her my compliments. I am not mad at America-san anymore. We were both very angry, and it was a bad thing what we did. He and I have gotten along for a while now.

From, Japan

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**Man, that was short~. :O To the Guest who wanted to write as Pokemon, friggin' DO IT! :D That'd be aweshum! REVIEW PLEASE~!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Warning: Hints of AsaKiku, Ameripan, and Greece/Japan, and possibly slight ItaPan. Why? Because I ship all of it. xD I ship Japan with everyone, seriously. :D There are a bunch of letters in this one, but who cares? x3 ENJOY~!**

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_Dear 1p Japan,_

_I see 2p Japan is at your place annoying you. I'll come over and pick him up so that he won't cause any more trouble. Also that restraining order he told you about just expired for me._

_From,_

_2p China_

_P.S. I suggest you file a restraining order against him so he won't be able to cause you any trouble._

Dear 2P!China,

Arigatou. It is a good idea to get a restraining order. I will go immediately.

From, Japan

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_Dear Japan,_  
_OMFGOMFGOMFG! I CANT BELIEVE I'M ACTUALLY TALKING TO YOU! WOWOWOWOWOW! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! ANYWAY, WILL YOU MARRY ME?! AND OMG YOU'RE SO CUTE!*GLOMPS AND REFUSES TO LET GO*_

_HAPPILY, BUBBLES_

Dear Bubbles,

A-Arigatou. *falls to the floor while being glomped* PREASE RET ME GO.

From, Passed-out Japan

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_Dear Japan,  
I'm so sorry about that. That was my friend spazzing on my phone. I told her I sent a letter to you and she took my phone and locked herself in the bathroom. I'm just happy she hadn't sent it yet.*sweat drops* I still love her... , how old are you? Physically and mentally. And has anyone kissed you or tried to kiss you?_

_Love, Melody._

Dear Melody,

She sent it actually, and she is highly affectionate. There is no need to apologize, but arigatou. Physically, I am only 30 years old with an old man's bones and muscles, but mentally speaking, I am 2,670 years old. Hai, America-san, England-san, and Greece-san have all tried but never succeeded. I am not completely sure if they were drunk or not.

From, Japan

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_Dear Japan-san,_  
_I want to ask you who is your closest friend from the axis powers, and why ?_  
_And do you like apples ?_

_WITH ROVE,_

_Tjzoom21_

Dear Tjzoom21,

That is a very hard question. I do admire both of them very much. Germany-san seems a bit distant though, and Italy was my first hug. I suppose Italy-kun then, only for being my first time.

I rove apples.

From, Japan

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_Dear Mr. Japan,_

_How are you able to draw such awesome anime? I wanna learn how!_

_Tori_

Dear Tori,

It took a long time, and many hours of practice. It was my style of drawing, and if you have difficulty with it, maybe you should add some of your own style to it.

From, Japan

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**I get what it's like to be talked to by a hot anime character. I mean, I talk to myself all the time. ;) Jk, jk. I wish I was.. ;u; REVIEW PLEASE~!**


	8. Chapter 8

**This chapter's gonna be short, sorry! ^^' Enjoy~!**

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_Dear Japan,  
That explains a lot actually. Thank you for telling me. My friend loves to draw anime and is actually really good at it. She wants to go live in Tokyo actually. Which brings me to my question: Are your cities personified too? And do you have any other animals besides your cat and dog? How have they stayed alive so long anyways?  
With love, Melody_

Dear Melody,

No, cities are usually not personified unless they play a very big role. Pochi and Touma have been around for a very long time, and have not gained any new companions. They are immortal like me, and until their breeds go extinct, they shall live on with me.

From, Japan

_Konichiwa 1p counterpart,_

NO! You got a restraining order against me! * depressed look* I guess I will  
have to leave now, but I'll still write to you when I get back to the 2p  
world! * 2p China arrives and drags 2p Japan away*

From,

2p Japan

Dear 2P!Self,

Please refrain from writing me. I do not want to have to use my kantana on you.

From, Japan a.k.a I have my kantana

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**Review please~! :) More letters!**


	9. Chapter 9

**LATE update~! ^J^' YA-I MEAN, NO!X3 Lots of letters this time~! :D Enjoy, peeps! Warning: I might have exaggerated Japan's fondness of salt and tuna a little bit. xD I just couldn't resist it. I act just like that with chocolate and sugar. XD**

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_Hello Mr. Japan,_

_I'm Georgia, one of America's states. I wanted to say hello and ask you a_  
_question as well. What's your favorite genre of Anime? Mine is Shoujo. I sent_  
_you some peach pie and a copy of a manga with the letter. I hope you enjoy_  
_them very much._

_Love and Peaches,_

_Georgia (Samantha-Kirkland-Jones)_

Dear Georgia,

I don't have a favorite genre; all genres and forms of anime/manga are unique and nice on their own. This peach pie needs more salt. Salt is good for the mind, just like tuna. This pie needs tuna too. This manga needs more salt and tuna in both go very well with salt and tuna.

From, Japan

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_Dear Japan,_  
_Don't act like you haven't done the deed with Greece I mean you did wake up_  
_naked with him beside right ;)_

_Love,_  
_Pexie_

Dear Pexie,

No, it was only a dream. Greece-san and I are *just friends*.

From, Japan

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_Huff -Puff!  
Sorry, I hadn't sent a letter in a while, I was just trying to escape France after he kidnapped me! Plus, he was telling me all about his plan to molest people/nations! So questions!  
Japan, did you miss me? Can you do me a favor and be my body-guard and keep me away from France because he is gonna come after me again?  
What types of anime do you like and what is your favorite yaoi couples? Can you teach me some self-defense moves?  
Uhh bye I think I hear France ohoning!  
BYE AND SAVE ME JAPAN YOU'RE __MY ONLY HOPE!__*runs out of hiding spot with France close behind*_

Dear Yaoiqueenrulzu,

Konnichiwa. France-san is after you? I am sure he is no problem as of now. He is visiting as of now; Another marriage proposal, I believe. All anime is good, as well as every kind of relationship, so it is hard to pick favorites. Being able to defend your self takes years of practice, so if you want to learn, it will take a while. *OHOHNHON is heard* OH, I have to go as well.

From, Japan

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_Dear 1p male counterpart,_

_I heard you got a restraining order against my male counterpart. Good job! He_  
_has been more annoying than usual recently which isn't good. Don't worry I'm_  
_not like him well... not as annoying as him. I hope that we will be able to_  
_get along._

_From,_

_2p Fem Japan_

Dear Fem!2P!Self,

He is usually calmer than this? Why is he more hyper-like? Has S. Korea-san been hanging around with him more lately, 2P! or otherwise? I do hope we can get along as well, since Sakura-san does seem to be quiet lately. Has my 2P!Self been her as well?

From, Japan

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_Dear Japan,_

_That explains alot actually. Why is Prussia still alive anyway? I mean, I_  
_still claim to be Prussian but when I tell people they think I'm crazy. How is_  
_your relationship with China right now?_

_Love Melody_

Dear Melody,

Prussia-san is alive because Germany-san kept him alive. He was very sad when Prussia-san Empire fell, but he managed to keep him alive. Prussia-san is still somewhat upset about not being a country anymore, and Germany-san is a bit troubled by it, but they are both grateful for it. Germany-san is grateful especially for Prussia-san not being like Roman Empire. China-san and I are arguing a bit, but peace will prevail more than likely;hopefully.

From, Melody

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**Sorry for the last letter. ^J^' It's my headcanon for why Prussia is still alive, and I couldn't think of anything else, so..meh. :I BTW China and Japan are fighting over some land, but I'm not sure if the argument is over or not. ^J^'' **


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